THE Most Important Trait to Have as a Life Coach

Do you know the most important trait to have as a life coach?  It’s CERTAINTY.

What Is Certainty?

Certainty is defined as a strong conviction that something is true.  As a coach, you say to  people, in these exact words or in essence, “I can help you.”  But if you do this with any level of uncertainty, it’s going to be tough for anyone to hire you as a coach.  You’ve got to have confidence and belief that what you’re saying is true, so they can have confidence coaching with you.

This certainty can be broken down into three aspects, from that sentence, “I can help you.”

  1. Self = I
  2. Skills = can help
  3. Seeker = you

These three aspects are the foundation of confidence in your marketing, which is critical for it’s success.  If your marketing doesn’t have confidence, it’s useless or possibly even harmful, as you’ll learn.  But first, let’s look at each aspect of certainty first.

Certainty in Self

You’ve got to be certain in yourself.  If you don’t have certainty that you are someone who can lead, deliver a message, etc., no one is going to follow you.  Here are some tips to help you feel certain about yourself:

  • You are a GUIDE.  You don’t have to know everything or be without problems in order to coach.  You simply need to be able to guide others.
  • Just need to be one step ahead.  Being one step ahead gives you the ability to turn around and help whoever is following you.
  • Show up to serve.  When you focus on marketing, sales, closing, etc., it’s  all promotion, which causes fears to rise within you.  But when you show up to serve, your fears & doubts will go away.
  • Best coaching trait: curiosity There are important skills for coaches to have, but when it comes to helping others, the best thing you can be is curious.
  • Never compare yourself to other experts.  This comparison will only create doubt within you.  Instead, compare yourself to someone a couple steps behind you, or to your prior self.
  • Clear your mirror & keep growing.  You need this in order to be authentic, transparent, present with other people.  If you’ve got stuff going on inside, you’re not going to be able to help other people as effectively.  You’ve got to consistently and constantly evolve.  When you continue to grow, it helps your clients see you’re serious about leading them, and they will continue to follow.

Certainty in Skills

For you to have certainty that you can help someone, you have to have certainty in your skills.  Any doubt in your mind will come out in your energy and voice.   Here are a few suggestions to help you harness certainty in your skills.

  • Listen to understand, not fix.  Even when you’ve been hired as a coach, you have to have rapport with your clients.  You can’t just tell them what to do or how to do it.  When you understand them you will know how to help them best.
  • Must have a framework – for you and the client.  A framework allows you to illuminate the path you ask them to walk with you.  I’ll share more on this in another article.
  • Get certified in belief change.  If you cannot help someone change their beliefs, all you can do is tell them what to do.  Inner beliefs are what cause problems for people and the reason they seek coaching.  If you want to have influence and the ability to help people transform, you need the ability to change beliefs.
  • Practice, practice, practice!  If you don’t continue sharpening your skill set, your skills will get stale.  Coaching is an art form that gets better as you practice.

Certainty in Seeker

Your seeker is someone desperately seeking the knowledge you have.  You’ve got to be clear who the person is you want to serve.  This is the most important piece of your marketing!  It allows people to feel like you’re talking directly to them.  Here are some suggestions for creating certainty in your seeker:

  • People buy when they know that you understand them.  Your prospect doesn’t need to understand you as much as they need to know you understand them.
  • Your language will be more magnetic & marketable.  A big mistake often made in marketing is trying to speak to many people at once, which causes the message to be vague & unattractive.  When you are certain of your seeker, your language can reflect it.
  • Sell what they want to learn, not what you want to teach.  Most coaches sell what they want to teach, instead of what their seeker wants to learn.  But your seeker will buy what they want to learn, so it’s best to market from their perspective.
  • Most valuable asset:  your seeker’s perspective.  When you really truly understand their model of the world – their fears, desires and wants, you can really create a message meant for them.

What’s Next?

Gain the certainty in these three areas, then from that place, start building your marketing, social media, community, etc.  If you don’t have certainty inside, the more marketing you do, the more exposure you will have, and the more your doubt is going to block you, overwhelm you, and make it easier for you to quit.

When you have confidence & certainty in these things, it becomes part of you!  The more rooted you are in your message, the easier it will be for you to market successfully.

Without certainty, nothing else matters much.

 Whether you are already a coach or aspiring to be a coach, we can help you increase your certainty in yourself, your skills, and your seeker.  To find out how we can help you best, book a personal one-on-one call with a certified coach to talk about what will work for you.  Visit to schedule your complimentary session now, or call 805-552-4423 or email